Being rich might not buy you happiness, but it can get you out of prison pretty damn fast, even if you kill four people. In the holy-shit-what’s-gonna-kill-us-today fast-paced world that we live in, it’s easy to forget about a Grey Poupon stain like Ethan Couch. Here’s his thing, point by point:
- Back in 2013, the then 16-year old stole booze from a Walmart (classy!) and proceeded to drink. When he was later captured by the police, his BAC was three times the legal limit. Couch also had Valium in his system that day, making for a pretty powerful cocktail. Intoxicated, Couch slammed into a car with his pickup truck, at top speed. All four people in the car were killed.
- Couch’s high-falootin’ rich dude lawyer managed to get him off with 10 years of probation. The lawyer cited the fact that the lad’s family was so loaded that he’d grown up rich enough to be shielded from having to learn about right and wrong.
- Apparently, he was also too rich to be able to stand the horrors of probation in all the luxury that money can afford. He and his mother, Tonya, took off to Mexico in an attempt to keep him from having to serve the rest of his “sentence.”
- The Feds came to Mexico, gathered up the pair, and brought them back to the United States. Fun Fact: Tonya Couch didn’t go to jail for helping her son flee his probation. Money’s AMAZING!
- Dylan was finally sentenced to jail. The Justice system works! Wait, he only got sentenced to 720 days for killing four people and then fleeing his probation what the fu–
OK, we’re up to speed, save one thing: According to Newsweek, he’s gonna be getting out of jail this month. Just in time for his 21st birthday, as a matter of fact. He’ll legally be allowed to buy and drink booze. I went digging to see what else I could find on the story. The Internet is awash with stories of how his time inside has made him into a changed man and that the friends of the people he killed have forgiven him. It’s such a transformation! It’s also very likely the best damage control and PR that the family’s money could buy. I’m not saying that time served incarcerated won’t change you. But I’m yelling from the rooftops that the number of stories about how this troubled young white man – because that’s what you are when you do shit like Couch did, but come from the right family – has been redeemed are truly beyond the pale.
Last month, I plopped a post on the site about a fella named Herman Wallace. He was a well-educated black man who was forced to serve a life sentence, in solitary confinement, for a murder that he didn’t commit. Couch got 120 days for each person he killed. I just don’t know what to tell ya.
Image via Flickr, courtesy of Kirsten Loza
Zarinah Agnew lives at the Red Victorian, a modern-day commune in San Francisco’s Haight neighborhood. Six months ago, as an experiment, she and her roommates thumbtacked $80 in cash on three different corkboards (at the Red Vic and another local intentional community called The Embassy). They then attached small pink signs that read, “Take what […]
The Palo Alto Weekly in Silicon Valley asked more than 250 residents of that city “How do you define your social class?” From the survey results (PDF): Seventy-five identified themselves as “upper middle class.” Their self-reported incomes ranged from $50,000 to $400,000 or more (with one retiree reporting $35,000-$49,999)… Eighty-one people considered themselves “middle class.” […]
If you have something to sell, and a buyer asks to pay using Venmo, you could lose both your money and your item. Jennifer Khordi is one of many who got scammed and wants to help others avoid her fate.
If you have aspirations of becoming any sort of digital designer, you’ll need to get comfortable with Adobe Creative Cloud, a leading suite of design and editing software hailed by creative gurus. Thankfully, you can familiarize yourself with these tools for pennies on the dollar thanks to the Pay What You Want: The Adobe CC Lifetime […]
Whether you were an avid collector back in the day or simply inherited a collection from your parents’ mixtapes, you likely have a stash of cassettes you’re hanging on to for nostalgia’s sake. And, while your taste in music might last for years to come, those cassettes likely won’t have the same longevity. Luckily, this Audio […]
Contrary to what you might think, you don’t need to be a scientist or programming prodigy to create robots and DIY electronics. Thanks to the Arduino platform, anyone can get their feet wet building wearables, R/C robots, and the like, provided they have some basic training. The Pay What You Want: 2018 Arduino Enthusiast E-Book Bundle nets […]